this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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