I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
