About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
