He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
