look no pants
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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