are you so shy because you have an std?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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