She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have feelings that need drinking.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
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