At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
