David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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