"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
