is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
