I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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