She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
