i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My vagina is very pro this idea
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
