So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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