And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
