first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
