Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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