That's when you crack a 10am beer
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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