Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
