I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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