I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
