I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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