dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
