She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
