we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
