are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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