and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
