So drunk its hurt
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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