Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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