Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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