like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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