Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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