I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
