you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
