i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
