The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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