Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
