I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
