Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
