I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
