We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
