I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
