i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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