What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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