At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
