Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
