last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
