Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
My life is pants optional.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
