Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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