He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
