she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
