we're blogging at a bar
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
