what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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